Nerves of Steel

“Think like a man when behind the wheel.
You gotta make snap decisions, have nerves of steel,
Know what’s under the hood, know how to get gas,
Then after you park, be however you feel.”

This he says to me, seeing that I’m a young lass,
Assuming right away that I’ve nerves of glass,
For one simple question, he considers me weak,
And I burn, remembering how twice I didn’t pass.

He filled up my tank, wouldn’t let me speak,
Treated me like I was submissive and weak,
But how nice, he believes I can “think like a man.”
I can change genders like clothes, so things aren’t so bleak.

All I can say is, I do what I can.
And I will grow stronger, or that’s what I plan.
In me, there’s more that God has yet to reveal,
For I’m capable of more than prettily waving a fan.

Stereotypes belong in the past; what’s the deal?
I’ve got my license, and this is how I feel:
No, I won’t think like a man when behind the wheel!
I am a woman, with nerves of steel.

Problems

     Problems. We’ve all got problems. We’ve got bills to pay. Some of us have homework to do, papers to write, finals to study for. Some of us have worse problems, like fights with our spouses, children, parents, or friends. Some of us have that heavy feeling in our chest that won’t go away no matter how much we sigh. Some of us are heartbroken over a breakup or divorce. Some of us are completely crushed by the passing of a loved one.     
     We all dream of quick fixes. When I win the lottery, all my problems will go away. When summer vacation comes, all my problems will go away. When I get drunk, all my problems will go away. When I get high, all my problems will go away.
     But lottery money runs out. Summer vacation ends. Your drunken and high state fades away.
     We long for that final escape, when all our troubles will vanish permanently. We long for the return to Eden.
     We long for the Messiah.

     Is it realistic to hope for a return to Eden? Or is suffering just a natural part of life, impossible to be banished? I believe the former is true, but since we do not know the future, time will tell which one is right.
     But it is more than time that will determine our fates.
     All those quick fixes listed above: the lottery, vacation, alcohol, drugs – what do they have in common?
     They involve no hard work.
     The lottery ticket is purchased 1-2-3 in a store. Vacation just comes on its own with the passage of time and the end of the semester. Drinking alcohol is as easy as drinking water (except for the strong taste), and drugs are easily injected, swallowed or inhaled.
     Is the coming of the Messiah just as easy? Will he just come like summer vacation? Or is there something we must do to help him along?

     Most of us believe that there is some work involved. In Judaism some will tell us you must become more religious; then he will come. They tell us you must follow the mitzvot (commandments), you must daven (pray) more frequently and with more kavanah (enthusiasm).
     Now, I am not a learned scholar of Judaism. I am still in the process of learning all there is to know about my religion, and I am eager to learn, so if I’m wrong about anything, please correct me.
     So, let me get this straight. When every last Jew on Earth has become religious, what happens next? (FYI – Jews are not encouraged to proselytize, so we do not believe all humans must convert to Judaism for the Messiah to come.) We are all so religious that we inspire everyone else to become better people, and that’s how Eden gets brought back?
     Well, I guess that’s possible.
     But there’s a problem here.
     Think about the Seder, if you’re Jewish and have one, and recall the ritual of opening the door for Elijah.
     When it is time for the Messianic Era to be ushered it, Elijah is supposed to appear at our door. Every year, we pray that we will see him.
     Recall what you said after you open the door.
     You said, “Pour out thy wrath upon the heathen who will not acknowledge thee, and upon the kingdoms who invoke not thy name, for they have devoured Jacob, and laid waste to his dwelling. Pour out thy indignation upon them, and let thy fierce anger overtake them. Pursue them in wrath and destroy them from under the heavens of the Eternal” (Maxwell House Passover Haggadah, 1996).

     One day, when we are religious enough, we will win that Ultimate Lottery ticket. But although being religious is hard enough, there’s something else we seek to escape. It’s too difficult to extend our hands in friendship with the rest of mankind. It’s too difficult to keep to our religion and mix with them at the same time. It’s too hard to trust them given our history of being persecuted, too hard to avoid the temptations of eating pork when they eat pork, or watching tv on Saturday when they watch tv on Saturday. It’s too much – we’re better off hiding, folding into ourselves like a wad of paper, curling up into a fetal position and hoping, praying, that the world would just all go away, that God would just come down, one day, and pour out His wrath on every last “heathen,” one by one. That would be so, so easy. Then all our problems would go away.  
     But here’s an even bigger problem:
     We will never see Elijah with hatred in our eyes.
     Isn’t it obvious? If we have the opportunity to ask God anything at that moment, and God is capable of any and all miracles, why are we asking for the death of the “heathens?” Instead, we should be asking God to soften their hearts and make them realize that persecuting us is wrong.
     Prayer is good, but on top of prayer, we must also take action. We must realize that our only shot at eliminating their hatred for us is by befriending them, while at the same time having the strength to follow our own beliefs. It may not work 100% of the time, but if we can show some people that we are just as human as they are, we will be closer than we are in our current state to eliminating our problems.
     And we will be closer, God-willing, to opening the door for Elijah and witnessing a miracle.

The Dark

Once, my world was luminescent.
From every life emanated a glow.
I gave my widest smile to anyone
For we were all equal and no one was low.

Once, my world was shining splendour.
Jew and non-Jew could reach the Divine.
Dogs and birds, leaves and grasses,
Even the worm, were bathed in shine.

Then she told me my eyes were closed
And she proceeded to help me see
We are the only possessors of souls
And this great truth would set me free.

And as I watched, the light receded.
"They're not Jews, they'd never fully understand."
The light retracted as this phrase was repeated.
From the faces of my friends, the light was banned.

I looked on in sadness as the darkness
Swallowed some I dearly love
And only Main Street and Kissena Farms
Was blessed with light from Heaven above.

I felt nauseated; my mind was reeling,
For behind my friends' eyes, there was no soul!
And I smiled at them, but my eyes were half-lidded,
For they could never reach the same spiritual goal.

It was pitch-black, a night with no moon
As I met up with friends who are not my kind.
She opened my eyes, and in the process
She struck me utterly, desolately blind.

Touch Not This Tree

Touch not this tree
Don’t cut me down
Lest you soon see
God’s saddened frown

I breathe with mirth
I give you air
The lungs of Earth

Show me you care

You’ve got a choice
It’s in your hands
But I’ve no voice
To change your plans

If not for me
You’d choke, you’d drown

Touch not this tree

Don’t cut me down